


The Umbrella Academy Headcanons

by drakaryss



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drakaryss/pseuds/drakaryss
Summary: A collection of headcanons featuring the characters from The Umbrella Academy!Find me on Tumblr @issamhysa !
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Reader, Ben Hargreeves/Reader, Diego Hargreeves/Reader, Klaus Hargreeves/Reader, Luther Hargreeves/Reader, Number Five | The Boy/Reader, Vanya Hargreeves/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 129





	1. Dating Ben Hargreeves would include:

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: BEN IS VERY MUCH ALIVE IN THIS GOODBYE

\- You meet at a nightclub on an average Friday night

\- Ben's sitting by the bar doing his best to keep his dear brother Klaus from making a complete fool of himself, and he's failing miserably

\- So he's sitting back and watching Klaus stumble his way to the dance floor when he hears the greatest exchange a few seats down

\- "Hey Y/N." "What, Emily?" "Happy Crimus... No, it's crismun..." "Emily, shut up." "Merry crisis. "Emily." "Merry chrysler." "Emily!" "What?" "It's the middle of June."

\- There you are, having the world's strangest conversation with your best friend, who's drunk off her ass

\- You let out an exasperated sigh as you watch Emily lamely dance in front of the bar before you turn to look around

\- You and Ben lock eyes, and you suddenly recognize him as the guy whose brother had been drunkenly hitting on you earlier

\- You figure Emily won't go far, so you move closer to him with a smile

\- "Mind if I sit here?"

\- "Not at all."

\- And so it began

\- It became a thing with you two

\- You'd let Emily drag you out to the club

\- Ben would let Klaus drag him along

\- You'd both sit by the bar together and watch your respective idiots do their own thing

\- Until the tables turned

\- "Em, are we going to the club tonight?" "Nah, I'm not really feeling it." "Oh, that's a shame. Get up, we're going anyways."

\- "Hey, Klaus-" "Not tonight, Ben." "Oh come on!" "Fiiiine."

\- So on and so forth

\- You're quick to become best friends

\- He's super sweet and kind

\- Not to mention, he's fucking hilarious

\- Or at least he thinks he is

\- "Hey Y/N, hey Y/N." "What is it, Ben?" "What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?" "Benjamin Hargreeves, I swear-" "Oh sheet!" "God damn it."

\- And uh, he's pretty cute

\- Okay, really cute

\- Emily never fails to point that out

\- She also has a thing for telling you how into you Ben really is

\- "Don't be so oblivious, Y/N! He looks at you like I look at my vodka." "Emily, do me a favor." "Yeah?" "Shut up." "Noted."

\- You kinda notice it, though

\- So you confront him about it

\- Ta-da! You are now dating Ben Hargreeves

\- Your dates consist of babysitting Klaus and Emily at the club

\- Going to Griddy's for lunch

\- Going to the movies a lot

\- Sometimes you'll go to the academy to hang out with him

\- You'll spend the day in his room, talking and dancing

\- Klaus is your second best friend

\- He's constantly popping into the room with a dumb grin

\- "You kids keeping it PG in here?"

\- Cue the pillow throw, courtesy of a flustered Ben

\- But he's super happy Ben finally found someone he can be himself around

\- Other than himself, of course

\- His siblings seem to like you

\- Especially Allison

\- She kinda treats you like a big sister and gives you advice and stuff

\- She's great

\- But Ben enjoys spending as much time with you as he can

\- If you work, he'll randomly show up at work and bring you lunch or something

\- If you don't work, he'll stop by your house and help you with anything you need help with

\- With usually ends with the two of you cuddling while watching Netflix

\- You're both hooked on the series Sex Education but that's a story for another time

\- Dude, he's a sucker for neck kisses

\- Giving and receiving

\- Like if you're cooking in the morning, he'll sneak up behind you and press a few kisses to the back of your neck

\- Or when you two are cuddling, you'll bury your face in the crook of his neck and leave tiny kisses

\- He loves it

\- Cheek kisses are a close favorite

\- Not that he'd ever admit it

\- Of course, there are some days Ben is feeling down

\- His powers can really get to him

\- He's always afraid you'll fear his abilities and leave

\- But you're always there with kisses and a warm blanket to reassure him that you love him, powers or no powers

\- You two are hella cute, okay?

\- Please keep him safe, he's tiny


	2. Kisses [with Ben Hargreeves]:

\- Okay, so we've already established our boy Ben adores neck and cheek kisses, yes?

\- Good, so moving on

\- Neck kisses, right?

\- He'll start off with butterfly kisses and will slowly make his way down to your collarbone and shoulder

\- He loves it when you run your fingers through his hair when he kisses your neck

\- It really butters his eggroll

\- He likes kissing your cheek if he walks past you or something

\- Like he'll feel weird if he doesn't

\- Ben's kisses are the greatest

\- I feel like he'd taste like mint chocolate chip ice cream and I have absolutely no idea why

\- Anyways

\- He's very playful when it comes to kissing

\- He'll lean in to kiss you and pull away last minute

\- Sometimes he'll poke your side in the middle of kissing

\- After that [about 80% of the time, in all honesty] it all ends in a tickle fight, there's no avoiding that

\- No, but all jokes aside

\- Ben is really sweet with his kisses

\- He takes his time enjoying the kiss, and will gradually make them more intimate

\- He loves holding your hand when you kiss

\- It reassures him you're really there

\- I guess you can say it grounds him???

\- Like he feels like it deepens the connection you two have

\- Also, this isn't really that important but I just have to say it

\- Ben has really soft lips

\- They're super pillowy too and like wow

\- And they're the perfect shape so they mold perfectly with yours

\- He just loves kisses


	3. Being married to Ben Hargreeves and starting a family would include:

\- Ben proposes after a mission

\- The mission had gone awry, and they had barely escaped with their lives

\- After the mission, he immediately shows up at your doorstep

\- You open the door and gasp

\- He's covered in blood and bruises, so you move to let him in, but he takes your hand to stop you

\- He takes his domino mask off and kneels down in front of you

\- "I don't have a ring, I literally almost died, and I realize my timing is horrible. But I love you, and I never want to be apart from you. Will you marry me?"

\- It was the most sudden thing ever

\- You don't really recall what happened after you said yes

\- It's all a blur

\- You and Ben are very impatient, so you get married a few months later

\- It's a simple wedding, really

\- Nothing absolutely ridiculous

\- Just your families and close friends

\- You two move to a nice house in the suburbs

\- Ben's always been a man of simple taste

\- He's always wanted to live a normal life

\- But obviously, being part of the Umbrella Academy, he never really did get normal

\- And his powers don't really help all that much

\- So anyway

\- IKEA trip!

\- Ben's never been to IKEA before, so you just had to take him

\- He's super excited

\- "Y/N, wouldn't this look nice in our living room?" "Hey, this is cute! We should get it." "Oh my god, we have to get this for the kitchen!"

\- It's absolutely ridiculous but awfully endearing

\- You end up spending your entire paycheck in IKEA

\- On the bright side, it was a fun day

\- Luther, Diego, and Klaus help with the furniture assembling

\- Of course, those three lovely idiots can't read instructions for shit

\- So you, Allison and Vanya end up assembling stuff while the boys do everything else

\- At night, you all huddle in front of the tv and watch Netflix while munching on pizza

\- This becomes a weekly occurrence

\- They'll all show up with snacks and watch a movie or something at your place

\- Allison starts bringing Claire with her

\- Claire absolutely adores you and Ben

\- And you and Ben absolutely adore her

\- This is a long way of me saying you both babysit Claire

\- Ben is so good with her

\- He'll tell her stories and draw with her

\- You came home from work one day to find them both dancing very enthusiastically to Baby Shark

\- [You may or may not have recorded it and sent it to the family groupchat]

\- Soon, the idea of having children begins to swim around in your head

\- So one of the nights everyone is over, you pull Ben into the kitchen

\- "I want to start a family with you."

\- He's super taken aback

\- "Wait, are you sure?" "A family, with me?"

\- After the initial shock wears out, he smiles really wide and hugs you

\- A few days later, the two little lines pop up

\- The first person you tell is Ben

\- He's a crier, dude

\- So you're both smiling and crying

\- You get the group together to tell them the news

\- As soon as you spit it out, Allison and Vanya hug you

\- Luther claps Ben's back

\- And Five watches as Diego passes Klaus $20

\- So everyone's happy

\- As the months go by, Ben gets more and more protective

\- But not overwhelmingly so

\- "Did you eat?" "Yes, Ben." "Alright, just checking on my girls."

\- He wholeheartedly believes the baby will be a girl

\- Turns out, he was right

\- When the baby's born, Ben is absolutely smitten

\- He's never been so in love with someone

\- Other than you, of course

\- Your baby girl grows with loving parents

\- And some crazy ass relatives that she'll soon learn to love for who they are


	4. Bullies [with Ben Hargreeves]:

\- So

\- Ben's usually very passive

\- He doesn't really like confrontations and such

\- He's super quiet

\- But when it comes to defending someone from bullies, he's a completely different person

\- Under no circumstances will Ben tolerate anybody being disrespectful

\- Not only to you but to anyone in general

\- But let's face it, it's mostly you

\- So when he finds out you're being harassed at work/school, he decides to do something about it

\- You want to tell him no, you want to tell him it doesn't bother you

\- Except it does

\- And he knows that

\- The next day, he approaches James, the man you pointed out was harassing you

\- Ben is so calm, it freaks you out

\- Because you know it's the calm before the storm

\- So there he is

\- Standing face-to-face with the biggest douchebag on earth

\- With a smile on his face

\- "What's it to you?"

\- Ben just holds out his hand

\- "I'm Ben Hargreeves, Y/N's boyfriend."

\- James reluctantly shakes his hand, giving you a dirty look

\- Ben notices

\- And he doesn't like that, not one bit

\- "Eyes over here, buddy. Now, I hear you've been giving Y/N a hard time, is that right?"

\- "Oh, come on. It's just a little bit of fun teasing! Y/N needs to lighten up."

\- Ben suddenly snaps and grabs James by the collar of his shirt

\- All trace of calmness goes poof

\- "Listen here, asshole. Harassing people is not a joke, okay? You may think it's funny, but it's not. It's insulting."

\- Once James looks visibly shaken up, Ben lets him go and takes a step back

\- "Don't touch people without their consent; that's harassment."

\- So James ducks his head and looks at you

\- "I'm sorry, I didn't realize what I was doing was... You know..."

\- With that, he walks away

\- Ben turns to you and takes your hands, a gesture he often does when he's anxious

\- "Too much?"

\- You giggle a bit and kiss his cheek

\- "No, I think he got the message. Thank you."

\- He smiles and hugs you tight

\- "No one gets away with this, not on my watch."


	5. Cuddles [with Ben Hargreeves]:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: God, I fucking missed him so much.

\- If there's one thing Ben Hargreeves loves

\- It's cuddles

\- Before, Ben wasn't very big on cuddles

\- Most of the time, he'd avoid them altogether

\- Except one night, he stopped

\- That was the night he came back from a mission that almost cost him his life

\- Bloodied, bruised, and terrified

\- Ben is grateful you live so close to the mansion

\- But he would've traveled to the ends of the world to be with you right now

\- So you take him in

\- You clean him up, you ask absolutely no questions about anything

\- You knew about the academy, yes, but Ben never liked talking about it

\- So, you never asked

\- After you clean him up, you're careful not to wake your family up as you make your way into your room

\- You and Ben have shared a bed before, but this time, it's different

\- This time, Ben slowly shuffles closer to you, until his head is against your chest

\- Your reaction is almost instinctive

\- Your arms come to wrap around him, and you press a gentle kiss to his forehead

\- Ben doesn't cry, doesn't talk

\- Doesn't make a sound

\- And before you know it, he's asleep

\- From then on, Ben begins to enjoy cuddling with you

\- Being held by you

\- As time goes on, you come to find Ben hasn't changed

\- Well, he has, of course

\- But the one thing that remains the very same is his love for cuddling, which he found that night

\- His favorite types of cuddles are the cuddles you two share while you're watching a movie

\- You'll be sitting in his lap, your head on his shoulder and your legs outstretched

\- He'll have one arm around your waist, the other resting on your thigh

\- But, then again, he's not picky

-Tired Y/N cuddles are also his favorites

\- Having you curled up against him?

\- Wrapping both arms around you and letting you fall asleep on his chest?

\- Ugh, god, yes

\- Ben lives for those moments

\- Especially when they take place in your shared bed

\- It's ironic, really

\- How, back then, you'd hold Ben through the night

\- Now, it's the other way around

\- You're the one in his arms all night

\- "Oh, how the turn tables."

\- "Ben."

\- He always finds a way to ruin the moment

\- In the best way, though

\- You're exhausted

\- You can't think straight, and all you want is to fall asleep in your boyfriend's arms

\- "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

\- "Jesus, Ben."

\- Or you'll be on the couch

\- Literally seconds away from falling asleep

\- Ben is under you, staring up at the ceiling with his hands rubbing your back

\- You feel like he waits until the very last second

\- That he knows exactly when you're about to fall asleep

\- And just as you catch a glimpse into your next dream

\- "If you stack a lasagna on top of another lasagna, you still have one lasagna."

\- "Lord, you test me."

\- Yeah, okay, so cuddling with Ben can have its ups and downs

\- But you wouldn't change the experience for anything in the world

\- Except some peace and quiet

\- Maybe

\- Just maybe


	6. Being a part of the Umbrella Academy would include:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Based the reader's powers off of Black Canary, but also Emma Frost. Go figure.

\- Reginald Hargreeves is a strange man

\- He acquires a bit later after he acquires the other seven

\- However, due to your fantastic abilities, you earn a spot in the Academy as Number Three Point Five

\- Your ability?

\- Hypersonic sound manipulation and scream

\- Your screams alone are loud enough to reach 300 decibels

\- You can also use echolocation

\- Which is pretty cool

\- Now, your assigned number

\- Odd, yes

\- But not that Reginald cares

\- That's just how useful he believes you are

\- Growing up, you love all your siblings dearly

\- You're alike in many ways

\- Like Luther, you're dutiful

\- Like Diego, you love your mom with all your heart

\- Like Allison, you're stubborn

\- Like Klaus, you know when you need to step back and have a good time

\- Like Number Five, you're inquisitive

\- Like Ben, you're kind when you can be

\- And like Vanya, you're trying to find your place in all of this

\- Now, you don't have a favorite sibling

\- You love them all equally

\- But, Diego will always have the biggest piece of your heart, whether you want to admit it or not

\- You and Diego are inseparable as children

\- You help him with his stuttering

\- "Come on, Diego. He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts."

\- You're very patient with him

\- Diego is grateful for you, though he doesn't show it

\- He's Number Two, so weakness in front of Luther is unacceptable

\- You two also enjoy playing hide and seek

\- Childish, you know

\- But it's different

\- He can hold his breath for a long time

\- So if you're trying to listen in for his breathing, good luck with that

\- Lucky for you, you can echolocate

\- A simple whistle is enough for you to be able to know exactly where he is

\- And even though Diego is the sibling you're closest to

\- You spend as much time as you can with the others

\- You and Luther enjoy engaging in arm wrestling

\- True, he's super strong

\- But you also have a trick up your sleeve

\- He's always sure he's going to win

\- So he's completely caught off guard when you whistle

\- Now, a normal whistle wouldn't do much

\- But you have hypersonic abilities

\- So that tiny whistle?

\- It's loud enough to shatter the wine glass sitting on the shelf across the room

\- So, victory

\- Now, with Allison, you two mostly just talk about different ways to do your hair

\- Occasionally, you'll let her mess around with your hair

\- If not, she'll dress you up and you'll have little fashion shows in your rooms

\- With Klaus and Ben, you sneak out

\- A lot

\- You go to Griddy's Donuts

\- After all, it's the designated hang out spot

\- So you sit there and joke around while gorging on as many donuts as you can eat without throwing up

\- You don't hang out much with Number Five

\- But when you do, you do puzzles together

\- Anything that involves using logical thinking

\- Finally, Vanya

\- When you and Vanya are together, you watch her play the violin

\- She's super talented

\- You always encourage her and give the best constructive criticism

\- Other times, you sit with her and play thumb war as she asks you questions

\- How was the last mission?

\- Was it cool using your powers?

\- What did your fans tell you?

\- You feel bad for her, really

\- All Vanya wants is to be included

\- But there's little you can do

\- So you try to include her in little ways

\- And she loves you for it

\- As you grow up, your abilities and your siblings' strengthen

\- But your family begins to fall apart

\- After Number Five disappeared, everything goes to shit

\- Vanya is a lot more closed off than she was before, so she doesn't talk to anybody

\- Luther and Diego are fighting a lot more often

\- And they've been getting more reckless

\- Diego treats everybody but you and mom like absolute shit

\- He'll occasionally snap at you, but he always catches himself and apologizes

\- Then, Ben dies

\- And you decide you can't take it anymore

\- It's the night after that dreadful mission

\- You're all bloodied, exhausted and heartbroken

\- And Diego and Luther decide that it's the perfect time to start an argument

\- Klaus doesn't interject

\- He's too broken to do so

\- Vanya begins to lead him away, and stops by the staircase to call out for you and Allison to join them

\- But everything is too loud

\- Too much

\- You close your eyes with tears trailing down your cheeks

\- And you scream at your siblings to stop

\- Your brothers are thrown back, windows are shattered and your remaining siblings cower away from you

\- Realizing what you've done, you rush to Diego's side

\- But he brushes you off

\- Your father is yelling at you, but that's not what makes you leave the Academy

\- What makes you leave is the expressions on your sibling's faces

\- Luther and Diego look somewhat betrayed and shocked

\- They both have glass over them and various cuts all over

\- And you know it's not from the mission

\- You caused this

\- Allison rushes straight for Luther

\- And Vanya and Klaus cower away from you

\- You stumble backward, completely ignoring Vanya calling after you

\- You can't take it, so you run


	7. Reuniting with the Umbrella Academy would include:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is a continuation of the last set of headcanons! Also I feel like I should clarify that this isn't a Diego x Reader. He's just your favorite sibling, for my sake.

\- Vanya is the first person you see when you arrive

\- You two never really spent much time together

\- You have your dad to blame for that

\- But you do remember Vanya being there to comfort you whenever Hargreeves pushed you too hard

\- You remember sitting in your bed, watching her play the newest song she was practicing

\- She's surprised to see you, given what had happened last time

\- But happy, nonetheless

\- You hug her tightly with a small smile

\- "I'm happy to see you, Vanya."

\- She's taken aback by this

\- I mean, she did write a book outing all the family secrets

\- "You don't... You don't hate me?"

\- "Well, I'm not thrilled by it. But I know you had your reasons."

\- You shrug, and she offers a tiny, grateful smile

\- "Besides, you're my sister. I could never hate you."

\- The second person you see is Diego, who catches you as you enter

\- The two of you stare at each other for a second

\- And Diego's face is a mixture of emotions

\- Betrayal, sadness

\- Longing

\- You gather that he's still not over what you had done

\- "Hey, Diego..."

\- He hesitates, his face hardening

\- Bu t he drops the facade, crosses the room and pulls you into the tightest hug

\- He sorta looks around as he does this to make sure Luther's not around

\- Nice to see nothing's changed

\- But you're just happy he's not treating you like a monster

\- "I missed you, Di."

\- "Yeah, I know."

\- You start to believe that's all you'll get out of him

\- But then

\- "I missed you, too."

\- And with that, you part from the hug with a quick promise to catch up, and he continues on his way

\- You then see Klaus in the kitchen

\- He's tucking something in his coat when he sees you

\- "Y/N!"

\- He's just as surprised as Vanya is

\- And just as welcoming

\- He walks over and hugs you as tight as he can, and you return the hug with a grin

\- He's still the same boy you grew up with

\- The same little crackhead you'd comfort on nights when Hargreeves would lock him in the mausoleum

\- That same boy you'd sneak out of the Academy with to go get donuts with Ben

\- "Hi, Klaus."

\- He pulls away and cups your face between his hands with a grin

\- "Christ, I missed you."

\- He kisses your forehead

\- "Is Ben here?" You ask, but you don't really need an answer

\- You whistle, and the soundwaves bounce off of some force next to Klaus, and comes back to you

\- Your smile softens, and you look towards the spot

\- "Hi, Ben."

\- "Oh, I forgot you could do that. He says hi." Klaus laughs

\- You laugh with him, and after the laughter subsides, you turn to him with a raised eyebrow

\- "So, what were you planning on doing with that?"

\- He smiles and throws his arm around you, leading you into the living room

\- "I have no idea what you're talking about."

\- When you get to the living room, you see Luther and Allison sitting with everyone else

\- Allison doesn't waste any time in embracing you

\- "It's good to see you, sis." She says

\- You're glad she doesn't fault you for what had happened

\- "You too, sis."

\- When you pull away, Luther is standing off to the side

\- You two look at each other, but he doesn't say anything

\- He starts to talk about the funeral instead, and you simply sink down on the couch next to Vanya

\- You knew this would happen

\- But he's still your brother

\- A simple "hello" would've sufficed

\- You sit there and listen to him spew his bullshit

\- And you manage not to roll your eyes

\- "He thinks one of us killed dad."

\- You freeze

\- Huh?

\- Slowly, you turn to look up at Luther

\- "Wow, Luther. Wow."

\- Somehow, you manage to get through the funeral

\- Until Diego and Luther start fighting

\- You stand with Vanya and Allison, holding your umbrella in one hand and Vanya's hand in the other

\- "Luther, no!"

\- You lurch forward, but by the time you take a step, Ben's statue is already sliding off its pedestal

\- You're appalled and enraged

\- Realizing what he's done, Luther goes inside

\- Diego looks at you, and he starts to come over, but you hold up a hand to stop him

\- He scoffs, but you can tell he's not very proud of himself

\- As you kneel by the pedestal, he leads Mom back inside

\- You set your head against the wet stone and close your eyes

\- Before she leaves, Vanya comes to find you

\- "Hey, come on. Let's get you inside."

\- You allow her to help you up to your room

\- Once you're sitting in bed, she sighs

\- "You're sure you're okay?" She asks

\- Oh, Vanya

\- You admire how thoughtful and kind she is, despite everything she had been through

\- You reassure her you're okay, and she leaves

\- As you lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, you feel the bed dip next to you

\- Diego doesn't say a word, he just looks up at the ceiling in silence

\- You know it's his way of apologizing

\- You open your mouth to speak, but are interrupted when the lights flicker

\- A sudden pain fills your head

\- It's almost like somebody struck a church bell right in your ear

\- The pain is almost unbearable

\- But you slap your hands over your ears as the soundwaves of whatever explosion you had just heard slowly subside

\- Lightning strikes too close to the house, and you figure something's happening

\- You and Diego rush outside, and find your other siblings already outside, staring into something that you can clearly make out to be a portal

\- There's a man inside, his hands outstretched

\- Or is it a boy?

\- Diego pushes you behind him as the boy falls out of the portal and collides with the ground

\- His uniform looks all too familiar, and you narrow your eyes and lean forward a bit to look over Diego's shoulder

\- "Five?" You call, coming to that sudden realization

\- Number Five looks at all of you in slight confusion, and then, exasperation

\- "Shit."


	8. Diego Hargreeves with a Hispanic girlfriend would include:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Got excited and maaaaybe a bit carried away. Don't care! I hope you enjoy!

\- Lord, this is gonna be all over the place

\- So, your relationship is a beautiful mix of a little bit of everything

\- You get on each other's nerves a lot, and you also argue for really stupid stuff

\- At the end of the day, you both know to forgive each other, because your love is more important than any stupid argument y'all might've had

\- You never go to bed angry, no matter what happened

\- Now that that's out of the way, let's have some fun

\- When I say you two get in each other's nerves constantly, I mean it

\- Say you come home one day from work, it's late, and all you wanna do is take a bath and join Diego in bed

\- But you step foot in the bathroom, and what do you find?

\- Diego's bloodied bandages from what you can safely assume were from one of his "missions"

\- So, petty as you are, you sit down on the bed and gently nudge him awake

\- "Hey, babe. I take it your mission went well?"

\- "Mhm. Yeah, baby. Just got a bit bloodied up."

\- "Oh, I'm so glad. That means you're still strong enough to get up and pick up those bloody bandages off the floor?"

\- He kinda stares at you, clearly irritated and in disbelief

\- "Your ass did not just wake me up for that."

\- You fix him with a stare for a few seconds, and Diego groans

\- "Fine."

\- Smiling in satisfaction, you lean forward and press a soft kiss to his lips

\- "Te amo, papito."

\- You're pretty sure you can hear him thrashing on the bed like a child as you turn the corner, snickering

\- He always ends up getting woken up by loud music on Saturdays

\- He always suffers in silence

\- Because he knows better than to get between you and Maná in the mornings

\- He'll act like he hates your music

\- But he really enjoys watching you do the choreography to Rosalía's "Con Altura"

\- And you'll often catch him dancing around and singing Daddy Yankee songs

\- It's the cutest thing

\- That being said, Diego's not big on dancing in front of anyone but you

\- But one word into "Amor Prohibido", he's a goner

\- He loves dancing, just as long as he's with you

\- You can usually rope him into dancing to any song with you

\- Unless you decide to be funny and try to get him to join in when you're dancing to "Aserejé"

\- There is no way you're getting him to do that sober

\- Diego can also play guitar

\- No this isn't confirmed

\- Pero no me importa

\- He doesn't play as often as he used to, but he can still play you a few ballads

\- If you ask nicely

\- "Bésame Mucho" is his absolute favorite

\- You love curling up next to him before bed

\- He'll be wearing your favorite sweater and picking at the chords until something comes up

\- It's heaven

\- If you're lucky, you'll get to hear him softly mutter the lyrics to whatever song he's playing

\- Let's talk nicknames

\- Y'all have a LOT of nicknames for each other

\- Both in English and in Spanish

\- You call him mi amor, papito, babe, and mi cielo

\- He'll call you baby, preciosa, mi reina, and mamita

\- The other Hargreeves siblings hate the both of you

\- No, they don't

\- They really don't

\- But you and Diego have this tendency to start speaking in Spanish in front of them

\- And it drives them insane

\- Allison, Vanya and Klaus don't mind it much

\- Klaus actually understands more than he speaks

\- Five speaks perfect Spanish, apparently

\- But Luther, oh Luther

\- He gets frustrated

\- And you both find it hilarious

\- "God, you two speak perfect English! Can't you do that around us?"

\- "¡Tú no me mandas!"

\- You also cook a lot

\- Like for every family dinner, potluck and visit

\- Everyone loves your cooking

\- The only people you'll allow in the kitchen with you are Allison and Vanya

\- Because they're the only ones who help

\- Luther just stands to the side and lets y'all do your thing

\- And you constantly have to slap Klaus and Diego's hands away from the food

\- And Five

\- Well, he's your taste-tester

\- Now, when it comes to YOUR family, your parents love him

\- At first, your dad hated him

\- But once Diego turned on the boxer charm, your dad changed his mind

\- As for your mom, she treats him like he's the most precious thing in the world

\- And you're jealous as hell

\- Diego knows this, so he rubs it in your face

\- Your mom will greet him at the door

\- "¡Ay, mi Dieguito!"

\- And he hugs her and smirks at you over her shoulder

\- "Hola, mami."

\- You shoot him a smile, and he knows that he's gonna pay for that later

\- Anyways, I'm running out of ideas for this one

\- So I'll close with this

\- You sat him down and forced him to watch Coco with you

\- The result?

\- Diego has a new trick

\- Whenever you get mad or you're irked and complaining, he'll grin

\- "No te atrevas-"

\- "¡Ay! De mi llorona-"

\- "Vete al carajo, Diego."


	9. Diego Hargreeves admitting his feelings for you would include:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Teehee, this is gonna be fun.

\- Diego's not super good with feelings

\- He's brash, stubborn and reckless

\- But when it comes to you, he's a completely different person

\- He realizes that after an argument with Luther in the library

\- It all started because Diego mentioned Allison and Luther

\- And then Luther went off

\- "Oh, and what about Y/N?"

\- At the mention of your name, Diego instantly bristles

\- He's always been protective of you

\- So God forbid Luther says something bad about you

\- "What about her?"

\- "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at her. The way you always have."

\- "Yeah? Like what?"

\- "Like she's the one thing you're really afraid of losing."

\- Diego doesn't know what to say

\- Every part of him wants to reject what Luther is saying

\- But he knows he's right

\- And so does Luther

\- "You know, you talk a lot of shit about how much I love Allison, but you're no better when it comes to Y/N."

\- Diego leaves the library after that

\- He doesn't realize he's in your neighborhood until he parks his car in your driveway

\- He stays in the car for a bit, though

\- He knows exactly why he's here

\- But what will he say?

\- He can't exactly just waltz up to your doorstep, kick the door down and kiss you senseless

\- Or can he?

\- No

\- As much as he wants to, he has to find the right words

\- And he can't do it alone

\- So, he dials a number and holds the phone to his ear

\- "Diego?" Vanya's tone is inquisitive and surprised

\- "I need your help."

\- Diego quickly updates Vanya on the situation, and she can't help but smile

\- "Diego, it's really not that hard. Just... Tell her how much she means to you."

\- When Diego gets out of the car, he's a nervous wreck

\- Would you reject him?

\- The last thing he wants is to ruin your friendship

\- But if he doesn't get this out of his system, he's not sure what he'll do

\- So, he puts on his brave face and knocks on your door

\- When you answer, you're in a t-shirt and shorts, and you look like you've just woken up from the world's best nap

\- The sight is enough to make Diego smile

\- "How was that nap?"

\- You smile sleepily and lean against the doorway, eyes still half-lidded

\- "Heavenly."

\- You step aside to let him in and yawn as you close the door, rubbing the sleep from your eyes

\- "Did you need something?" You ask, turning to him

\- Diego steps forward and takes your face between his hands

\- Suddenly, you're a helluva lot more awake than you were before

\- Your eyes are wide, and your voice is barely above a whisper

\- "Diego?"

\- "I'm in love with you, Y/N."

\- You're shocked beyond belief

\- So you stare up at him, blinking slowly, and wrap your hands gently around his wrists

\- "Where is this all coming from?"

\- "I had an argument with Luther. He told me that... That he... He noticed the w-way I looked at you..."

\- "How?"

\- "Like you're the one thing I never want to lose."

\- At this point, Diego is absolutely terrified

\- God, he messed up, he thinks

\- What would happen now?

\- Would you kick him out and never talk to him again?

\- Would you laugh in his face and take it as a joke?

\- He's already tense, shoulders squared, prepared to take whatever you throw at him

\- However, all his doubts are silenced as you lean forward and connect your lips to his

\- The kiss is full of a certain softness Diego's never felt before

\- It's long and sweet, and it definitely gets the point across

\- When you pull away, your forehead is pressed to the bridge of his nose for a second before you look up at him

\- "I'm in love with you, too, Diego."

\- Diego's shoulders immediately relax, and he lets out a small, relieved sigh

\- The two of you kiss again, and he pulls away with a hopeful smile

\- "So... You'll be my girl?"

\- You laugh and roll your eyes fondly

\- Like he really had to ask

\- "Yes, I'll be your girl, Hargreeves."


	10. What the Hargreeves siblings would go to jail for:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As requested! This was a little tricky, and I’m almost 73% most of you can think of better ones. Oh well!

Luther would go to jail for tax evasion. Then again, you can't really pay taxes if you're on the moon. 

As I imagine he has before, Diego would definitely go to jail for obstruction of justice. Let's say one day, he gets on the wrong officer's side, and Patch isn't there to bail him out. Tough luck, Diego.

In a world in which Allison would have to face consequences (and didn't have use of her powers), she would go to jail for bribery. Without her "I heard a rumor", it turns out that getting Diego off that obstruction of justice charge proved to be a whole lot harder than she thought, and that the officer she was trying to bribe was NOT having it.

Klaus would probably go to jail for illegal drug possession. We know Klaus. He'd probably try to sweet talk his way out of it, not that it'd do much good. Oh well, at least he tried.

This one was a bit tricky, but Five would most likely go to jail for assault. Say somebody got on his nerves on the worst day. He wouldn't hesitate to threaten or possibly smack the hell out of whoever is vexing him. The “kid” is pretty threatening, though, so it would take a cop that's either really stupid or really brave to stop him.

Ben is capable of going to jail for getting roped into whatever Klaus was doing. Klaus told him he wanted to go get waffles, so Ben decided to drive them to the diner. Of course, it was just Klaus' cheap excuse to meet up with the dealer in the parking lot, completely unaware of the patrol car sitting a few feet away.

And I personally don't think Vanya would ever step foot in a jail. Unless we're counting that whole "ending the world" thing. What would the charge even be for that? Involuntary humanity slaughter? And she DID kill that guy that one time… Okay, if the whole apocalypse business hadn't happened, I think Vanya would be too careful to get herself locked up.


End file.
